Yes but...

28th April 2023

Dhruv is having his lunch. Rumination is in progress, as the food is not of his choice. "Mumma, today that I am eating Kaddu, can I get a burger and some fries tomorrow?", he asks. "Dhruv, eating healthy food is the need of our body. You should eat it more often and without any terms and conditions" replies Reena.
And the rumination continues.
Dhruv is studying, has some doubts, and comes to Reena. She explains it to him and clears the doubt. "Mumma, I think I will score well this time. What will you give me if I rank first in the class?", Dhruv asks. Reena smiles at him and says, "So you are studying well for the reward and not because you feel that is the right thing to do?" "No Mumma. Actually, when my friends score well their parents gift them something. I thought you will gift me something. So I asked.", Dhruv replied. "So if we do not gift you anything, you won't score well?", asked Reena. "I will try to do my best in either of the cases Mumma," replied Dhruv as he continued to study.




Yes but...
The terms and conditions that are applied in parenting, make it a barter process or a business deal. I have observed parents conditioning kids with this bribe system, "Behave good, I will give you chocolate," "Eat healthy food today, tomorrow I will give you junk", "Score will/ rank first in class, we will get you whatever you want!" to share a few. If we raise our kids with this dealing system, they will grow up perceiving that behaving well to others is of no use otherwise; Only when chocolates are being offered we should behave well! Which is a totally wrong system to introduce them to. Not every action or gesture deserves a reward and not everything should be taught through the bribing barter system. The rewards for behaving well, eating healthy, and scoring well should be tasted as and when they come naturally and not by bribing and providing a shortcut. It might be an easy way to get things done by kids in the desired way, but is hampering them in the long run if we consider the bigger picture of their life!
Note: This post is a part of #Blogchattera2z 2023.