Integrity. Independence. Involvement.
10th April 2023
As the new academic year started, Dhruv started packing his bag according to the timetable on his
own. Reena is happy to see Dhruv becoming independent. However, she still cross-checks his bag once
The next morning, Reena asks Dhruv, "Dhruv, last week we got neon pencils for you. Where are they?"
Dhruv tries to come up with an answer saying, "Mumma, I will get them back today. I promise I will."
Reena sighs, "Ok. And whose pencils have you got in your compass box?" Dhruv gasped, "It is my
"Something is fishy Dhruv. Tell me what is going on?" Reena asked as she stared at Dhruv.
"Mumma, actually everyone liked my neon pencils. And in the maths period, it suddenly went missing.
My friend Aahaan offered me his pencil. I did not get to search for mine, but I will search and get
it back today." Dhruv explained. "Now that is convincing. And it is very kind of Aahaan to help you.
What about that?" Reena asked. "He is my friend, he gave me this pencil, and now it is mine!" Dhruv
replied. Reena controlled her temper and said, "He only helped you, ideally, you should have
returned it yesterday in the last period. I always say, "Do not miss your stuff, do not bring
someone else's." Only what is yours is yours. If you do this, do you think Aahaan will help you next
time?" Dhruv is quiet. "I don't mind if you do not get your stuff back, but please do not get
somebody else's," Reena says in a strict tone.
"Mumma, I am sorry. I will return this to Aahaan today." Dhruv says softly. Rakesh sees everything
from a distance comes closer, and says, "Okay, let us have the first coffee of the day now."
Another attribute that should deliberately be taught to kids, is to do the right thing even if no
one is watching. Integrity is vital in long run. Whenever kids grow up, the probability of them
choosing the right way to do things increases. Also, in many circumstances, choosing the right and
legit path to do things would seem to be a tough choice. But if kids are habituated to making that
choice, they will not be scared of the consequences, because, no matter how long it takes, on the
right path it will always be good in the end!
It is ideal to make kids independent as they grow. It is okay to cross-check in their absence or
observe them from a distance in their presence, but make sure if they come to know you are doing so,
it should be in a way that their self-confidence does not fade away, they should not feel like you
are suspicious and they do it wrong always.
Well, it is a vicious circle, you want to see them independent but also want to make sure they do
not fall into a pit! Parenting is a full-time and lifetime job; you will overlook some mistakes, and
they will cope with your absence at times. But when there is communication about this, it is either
happening in excess or not at all. We learn to strike the balance with time, it does not happen
As I write this, I remember a small snippet from the movie Mission Mangal prominently. Vidya Balan
figures out that her son is reading an Urdu book ( Quraan probably), she asks him once, and he grabs
the copy and immediately put it in the drawer. She does not ask again! That is how involvement
Note: This post is a part of #Blogchattera2z 2023.