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How To be a Sane Homemaker!

22nd Jan 2024

2019: 4 years into motherhood, my life had taken a turn I had not prepared myself for! Battled Post-partum depression on my own, lived the most terrible times, unexpected career break, listening to the same, "You have changed a lot" from known and close friends, I was finding it hard to survive all of it with a smile, looking after my baby, doing all my motherly duties and digesting "Good for Nothing" in addition to all. In 4 years I made myself used to all my motherly duties, and then the next thing that kept haunting me was, "IS BEING A HOMEMAKER MY ONLY IDENTITY?" To some extent, the pressure of, "So when are you joining back?" had started piling up. The outgoing, spontaneous, and fairly talented girl in me refused to compensate for the title of being a HOMEMAKER. And this is not about belittling homemakers. 68% of Indian women are forced to leave their careers in the most productive years of their lives. I got to know this when I was searching for a self-help book for homemakers (in 2019), And I did not find a single. So I decided to write one. Thanks to our deeply rooted mindsets and patriarchy, most of them did not dare to buy one for themselves as they find it wrong to spend on themselves, and the rest of them gave me an eye-opening reply by saying, "This book will make us feel good after reading through pages, the actual life we live for real after closing the book remains the same monotonous, being taken for granted and that of maintaining a care-giving attitude without expecting anything in return. There is no real purpose this book will serve." And it shocked me!

I still do not find anything wrong in being a homemaker; The only thing I have a problem with is always being taken for granted, compromising and sacrificing the most for others, living under a constant stress of pleasing others, micromanaging things, giving up on own dreams and choices. And all of this for nothing in return, forget monetary gain, no respect, no recognition, and no acknowledgment! I have to find written proof that women are responsible for all of the above, but till then, we can keep ourselves sane and question it to people around us. We can try drawing boundaries and do only as much as we can without stretching to a level where we break down. Although the list is long, these few are the things I would like to normalize for homemakers on priority. I was strong-headed and tower-high-willed, but most of the women I see around are not, for them I feel like doing this, because I have been through it and I know how it exactly feels. Like many of the other ideas that pop into my head and I find ways to execute them through the process, I intend to work on this as well in the same way. I am not sure how I will do it, but I have to do it and I will do it!

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