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Forgiveness. Family. Friends.

6th April 2023

After the scribbling episode, Dhruv ended up developing a hatred for the whole group who did that to him. He preferred being alone over being with friends. He became quiet and very anti-social. He trusted his family more because Reena rescued him from this whole situation by talking to teachers about it. The group was counseled, realized their mistake, and tried to befriend Dhruv. But he had developed major trust issues for them. While cycling or in the park, Dhruv preferred to play alone. If someone came to talk, he would only respond, would refrain from interacting with them. He had his nose in storybooks, which was a good sign; But Reema could sense he becoming an introvert. She could understand his situation but also did not want it to happen. Secretly, she was thanking that Dhruv has not come to the "I do not want to go to school anymore." stage. She had this fear as she read a lot about bullying on the internet, many horrendous stories she came across, but the reality she was in was far better than those stories.
On a Saturday morning, Reena was listening to her regular podcast, "The Science of Happiness" by Greater Good Science Center. The topic being streamed was, "Forgiveness" and Reena left everything and started listening keenly to this particular episode. The introduction said "What does it take to forgive someone? And why should we do it?" Reena screamed, "Dhruv... Dhrrruuuuuvvvv... Come here. Listen to this."
"Ma? Are you serious? You want me to listen to this?" Dhruv asked curiously.
3 minutes into the episode and Dhruv says, "You want me to learn forgiveness? I know it. Whoever says sorry, I reply "it's okay" to them, and behave well." "Beta, please listen to it completely. It will help you." requested Reena. Dhruv is confused and asks, "Help me? Oooh... Wait a minute. You want me to forgive them? Mumma? Really? They were so bad to me. How can I?" pauses "I can not believe you are saying this. You rescued me from them and now you only want me to forgive them?"
"I know they did bad with you. But they have realized it now. They are trying to be friends with you again. You guys have been in the same class for 4 years and you will continue to be together for the rest of your schooling years. And more importantly, you should forgive them because it is making you bitter, and you are losing on making friends because of that. Remember the times when we had your friends coming in on weekends, you guys had so much fun when you went to their place, remember? You cannot live like this Dhruv, I can not see you living like this. If not the same people, make new friends; For that also you will have to forgive them to move on. Please do it, not for them, but for yourself."

It is so important to show forgiveness to kids, or else they keep punishing themselves for reasons unknown. Along with that, it is also important to make them understand forgiveness comes irrespective of closure. Like happiness, forgiveness is also a choice that makes us better humans and lets weight off our chest thereby letting us breathe and live freely.

Establishing trust as a family may become challenging at times; the only thing that works then is making them understand patiently. Our opinion/suggestion may be different from kids, but different is not wrong. First, we should listen to their opinion and then figure out how to make them understand depending on the situation.

Friendship is a relationship we choose, we have the liberty to be friends with someone or be better off them. We also should keep in mind, they are humans and different from us. Not necessarily they will be the way we are, and we should accept them the way they are. Also, there is a trait we develop within ourselves as to how to deal with them in a particular situation because we have an idea about their reaction already. Hence, we must teach kids to choose friends wisely.
Note: This post is a part of #Blogchattera2z 2023.



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